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I started writing this blog in 2008, toward the end of my first year of teaching. These posts about my experiences as an NYC Department of Education teacher have been (and continue to be) assembled over a period of several years. They don't necessarily need to be read in chronological order, but my very first post, "Context" (March 2008) might be useful as an introduction into this lunacy. While most of my stories highlight the ridiculousness of being a public school teacher, I should note that I love my students and care deeply for them. So as you read, please keep in mind that I do in fact have a soul, as well as a heart; and that heart of mine brims with pride every time I think about my students' talents and breaks with pain every time another one gets screwed by the system.

March 9, 2011

Facebooking with Students = Confusion, Risk

Having accumulated almost 20 former students as confirmed Facebook 'friends' and having turned down countless other 'requests' by their siblings and by students I didn't actually have in class-- whose FB comments, pics, and every move still appear in my Feed for some unexplainable reason; I'm having a few regrets. Here's the first:   


Regret #1: Pokes
I've been on Facebook for over seven years now, and I have never ever understood the concept-- or more importantly, the implications-- of 'poking' someone. If they poke you, what does it mean? Is it a simple innocent, "hello! long time no see!" Or is it a shy man's version of putting yourself out there and declaring you have a crush? Is it a flirtatious action? Is the act of 'poking' some sort of sexual innuendo??? And furthermore... does it require a response? All these questions have gone unanswered in almost a decade of Facebook use; but frankly, it didn't bother me all that much.  In the past, when one of these illusive actions has been taken upon my profile, I'd figured whoever poked me (usually a boy) could interpret my decision to 'poke back' or not 'poke back' in whatever manner they wished. However! When I become aware that a former male student of mine as 'poked' me, I panic. SHIT.

My dilemma is such:
- If I don't 'poke back', I'm concerned the student (who was a huge trouble-maker and who deserved 176 punches in the face-- one for every day he was in school) will think I don't like him, when in reality, despite his supreme dickheadedness as a student, I really liked him as a kid/person.
- If I do 'poke back', since I myself don't know what 'poking' actually means and I certainly don't trust his understanding of what a 'poke' is, I'm concerned this student will think I like him-like him, or something twisted like that.

Unfortunately, I'd rather he thought I hated him than believed me to have some sick crush on him, so his 'poke' as yet remains, and will continue to be, ignored.



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