I'd like you to take a moment to consider a make-believe scene. It would hypothetically take place circa 2006, while I was still in college:
[Sitting in sweatpants at my desk in my room staring at my laptop, freaking out that I've been 'poked']
Me: What does this mean?! OMG he totallly has a crush on me...right? Shit, what do I do? Do I poke back? I don't want him to think I like him...!
[Roommates come running from their rooms to advise-- one of them wearing a dashing pink multi-purposed tennis/pajama skirt-- the two of them, each hovered over my right and left shoulders, staring at my computer screen, glaring at the 'Poke Back' button, sizing it up, thinking, playing out various scenarios, turning it over in their minds...]
Meredith: I would not poke him back but maybe you could write him a message saying something neutral in emotion [like hey, hows it going!]...but do it after 2 weeks so he knows you're not really into him. So he knows you think of him as a friend only, but that you don't hate him or anything like that either. If he keeps writing back, then ignore him, you don't want to give him the wrong idea.
Charlotte: Yea, I definitely agree.
If you're on Facebook (and who isn't these days), you've undoubtedly been in this situation.
If you're on Facebook (and who isn't these days), you've undoubtedly been in this situation.
Now, this exchange isn't completely fictional, and in fact, its mostly true. However, it didn't involve 'Meredith' (or Charlotte) and it wasn't in college.
So then... who was it? And when?
My father. Yesterday. After reading my last blog post about the dangers I encountered (and dodged, thank you) with the baffling "Poke" button on Facebook as it pertains to my students. Of course, this "poke back" scenario happened months ago, and in writing the blog entry, I wasn't asking for advice; but as it is in a good father's blood to guide and advise their children, no matter our age-- my father thus played his part. To that end, he provided the below recommendations, next steps, and prepped me for immediate execution.
Here's my dad's original quote. All you have to do is substitute the word friend for student and paraphrase a tiny bit and it's eerily similar to Fake-College-Meredith's advice from above:
"If I were you, I would not poke him back, but, I would write him a note telling him something good [like, a good boring book, or short lecture on a boring subject].....but do it after 2 weeks so he knows he's not high on your priority. So he knows you think of him as a student only, and you don't hate him or anything like that. If he keeps writing back, then ignore him."
I have to say, it made me laugh, as I never knew my rather rigid, quite protective, Chinese father could come off sounding so much like a college-aged girl.
So then... who was it? And when?
My father. Yesterday. After reading my last blog post about the dangers I encountered (and dodged, thank you) with the baffling "Poke" button on Facebook as it pertains to my students. Of course, this "poke back" scenario happened months ago, and in writing the blog entry, I wasn't asking for advice; but as it is in a good father's blood to guide and advise their children, no matter our age-- my father thus played his part. To that end, he provided the below recommendations, next steps, and prepped me for immediate execution.
Here's my dad's original quote. All you have to do is substitute the word friend for student and paraphrase a tiny bit and it's eerily similar to Fake-College-Meredith's advice from above:
"If I were you, I would not poke him back, but, I would write him a note telling him something good [like, a good boring book, or short lecture on a boring subject].....but do it after 2 weeks so he knows he's not high on your priority. So he knows you think of him as a student only, and you don't hate him or anything like that. If he keeps writing back, then ignore him."
I have to say, it made me laugh, as I never knew my rather rigid, quite protective, Chinese father could come off sounding so much like a college-aged girl.
Bravo dad, bravo.
CDPW48JTADYU
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