Pencils. Simple concept, right?

Wrong.

"Ms. Mystery, I can't find my pencil!"
"Ms. Mystery, she stole my pencil!"
"Ms. Mystery, I don't have a pencil!"
"Ms. Mystery, can I go sharpen my pencil?"
"Ms. Mystery, do you have an extra pencil?"

No pencil this, no pencil that, nopencilnopencilnopencilnopencil...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Let me tell you, I have tried every possible variation of classroom pencil management ever created by man. Its a perpetual daily war and-- while I might win a daily battle or two-- I ALWAYS lose the war.

Please see below a list and brief summary of several of my tested (and failed) pencil management strategies:

1. Let's Play: Nice Teacher- an infinite supply of pencils at students' disposal.
Self explanatory- they ask, I give, period.
Pros: They always have pencils!
Cons: They never bring their own, they rely on me, and my students treat them like shit (i.e. chew on them, pick them apart, shred them, step on them, throw them away, break them in half, cut the wood part so all that's left is the lead inside, pull off the eraser...)because they know that no matter what, another one will magically appear.
Failed: Too many trees sacrificed.

2. Let's Play: Egalitarian Teacher- trade a pencil for a ticket.
In this version, I use my classroom reward tickets (which are given out for good behavior, then 'cashed in' at the end of the month for a small prize) as trading pawns for pencils. If a student is in need of a pencil, they must sacrifice an earned ticket, and I will supply the perpetrator with a 'loaner' pencil. If the student returns the 'loaner' at the end of the day, their ticket is returned to them.
Pros: It worked well with responsible students. They used this system as it was supposed to be, a borrow-loan-return system.
Cons: The other 27 students in my class 'borrowed' pencils without ever returning them, thus losing all their tickets and consequently disqualifying them from a monthly prize. Now my entire classroom management system was at risk of utter collapse.
Failed: Too many trees sacrificed, risk of anarchy too high.

3. Let's Play: Community Sharing- ask your neighbor first.
If a student does not have a pencil, they are required to ask the students sitting at their table. If at that point, there is still no extra pencil to be spared, only then is the student allowed to ask me for a pencil.
Pros: The intervals between each, "Ms. Mystery, I don't have a pencil" are increased by about 4 minutes.
Cons: The once-silent intervals between each, "Ms. Mystery, do you have a pencil?" has now evolved in to a constant stream of whipsers:
"Yo, Cruz, you got a pencil?" --"No."
"Oh Ok. Yo, Braiden, you got a pencil?" --"No."
"Oh, ok. Yo, Paula, you got a pencil?" --"You can have this one."
"Thanks. You got a sharpener?" --"No, Jamal does."
"Yo, Jamal, can I use your sharpener?" --"I don't have it, Mildred took it."
"Oh, yo, Mildred, gimme that sharpener when you're done."
(Sharpener thrown across room--> sharpener confiscated--> requisite, "Ms. Mystery, do you have a pencil?")
Failed: Self explanatory.

4. Let's Play: Ostracize the Pencil-less Student- make student write in big fat ugly red (or brown, because honestly, no one I've ever met likes brown, especiallly not a child) marker.
This pencil management method requires setting groundwork first. On the very first day of school, as the teacher explains policies, rules, procedures, etc, Pencil Policy is always a topic of interest for students and teacher alike. In this scenario, the teacher (me) explains that the pencil policy will be one in which students who do not have a pencil MUST use a despicable red (or brown) marker. I proceed to make a ridiculously grotesque scene of how much of a loserrrr a child would be if required to use a red(brown) marker. I demonstrate its ugliness, I act out a scene with a volunteer, making fun of the student and encouraging others to make fun of the student with the red marker as well. I explain how hideous their Best Work Portfolio will look with ugly fat brown marker writing in it. I remind them that it is my policy to make students redo ugly work....
After this groundwork is set, I continue to make a big scene any time a pencil-less student is in need of a fat ugly red marker.
Pros: Highly effective during the first month of school when a)students still have the pencils they bought at the Staples Back-to-School Sale and b)students still want to make a good impression on me.
Cons: As the year progresses and kids become apathetic, they begin to see writing with brown (or red) markers as inexplicably pleasurable. In fact, it becomes 'cool.' Students even go so far as to pull out a marker from their desk before considering using a pencil.
Failed: 5th grade papers begin to look like kindergarten drawings

5. Let's Play: Mean Teacher- I have no pencils to give you, no exceptions.
Like Strategy #1, this is self-explanatory- don't say a word to me about pencils because you sure as hell aren't getting one (or any writing utensil) from me. Period.
Pros: Students learn to be slightly more responsible for their own pencils, as they begin to understand that if they run out of pencils, they are screwed. They don't annoy me, and they don't disrupt class to ask to borrow a pencil from their peers either, because no one is willing to part with this hot commodity and risk losing it forever.
Cons: The jackasses of the class never have pencils and never care. They just sit there. Really frustrating to look at. I usually bend and begrudgingly give them something (anything) to write with, while scolding them. I can't standdd it when a student is sitting there doing nothing when they should be doing something. It's maybe one of the most aggravating things to witness as a teacher. Furthermore, the semi-jackasses start bringing in pens instead, claiming they don't have a pencil. Also frustrating, as they always screw up and can never erase. Results in extremely ugly work or extremely late work due to tons of rewrites.
Failed: Jackasses and semi-jackasses win this one.

and Strategy #6.... the most creative, most lunatic strategy I have ever tried...happened only once, used with only one particular student...only in my first year...possibly because it was so scandalous I refused resurrect it in the future...will be continued in my next post....

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