They have all the teachers packets. Thick ones; equipped with 7 lesson plans, worksheets, and supplementary teacher information. Our job: teach 5th graders about The Dreaded HIV.
As I perused the lessons one evening, I noticed two frightening things:
1) I was supposed to teach 10-12 year-olds facts and concepts about HIV that I myself didn't understand. Vocab words like "antibodies" and "antigens" and "T-cells" and how all these interact. Considering my student's had trouble with the word "pole" not too long ago, I was a little concerned.
2) The 5th lesson required me to explain to my children.... how one could contract HIV
(aka...sex.... SHIT!)
Both were problems. The first, I overcame with relative ease, thanks to my roommate's extremely creative mind. It involved a classroom conversation that likened the President of the United States, his bullet proof vest, his body guards, and assassins to our body, T-Cells, antibodies, and antigens, respectively. To this discussion, I added a drawing of the battle that ensues between these organisms, and my students even acted out the scene on the carpet. It was a huge success.
However, the second of these issues was something that, as a 23 year old, made me very nervous to address with my students. I decided very quickly that I would try to put off this topic as long as possible and avoid it as much as possible. So, after stretching the 4 early lessons into 8, I unwillingly approached my dreaded next lesson, the lesson about contracting HIV:
Me: Soooooo... children.... HIV.... uh.... how.. uh... how do you think you get it? Any ideas? (I'll let them bring it up; I don't want to have to say The Word.)
Yarella: My mom has HIV!
Me: Oooookkk then...let's save that information for lunch time (so I can ask you a million questions and then lead you to the nurse).
Peterson: Don't you get it like a cold? Like, maybe it just goes through the air...you know, germs.
Me: Great guess, but no. It doesn't actually spread by air or by any normal everyday contact. You can't actually get it from someone's germs, like you would with a cold.
Paula: So like, can you get it from drinking out of the same cup?
Me: No, again, you can't get it from someone's germs.
Paula: So like, can you get it from using the same spoon?
Me: What do you think?
Paul: No?
Me: No.
Paula: But like, what about if someone sneezes on you?
Me: Nope, those are germs, and germs don't count.
Paula: But like, what about if they cough on you?
Me: I'm not answering that. SOMEONE ELSE give me a suggestion.
Cruz: Maybe from blood? Like if your blood touches their blood? Like if you have a cut.
Me: YES! Good job! Any other ideas guys?
Dezireh: Needles? Like in movies? All those druggies?
Me: Yes, you're right. Whatever movies those are, you probably shouldn't be watching them. But we can talk about that later. There's one more way you can contract HIV, and its a very serious way. Any ideas?
(giggling, whispers, furtive glances)
Braiden (laughing): You know uh, uh, how can I say it, uh, well uh, you know Ms. Mystery....(No Braiden, why don't you tell me. My heart's beating really fast right now, I'm preparing for my class to erupt into madness as that teensey 3-letter word is about to be uttered...)
Braiden: Uh, well, uh, you know, uhhh you can get it by uh having.. uh... how can I say.. .uh... 'personal interactions!'
(giggling, snickering)
Me (in my head): BRILLIANT!!!! Everyone knows what he means but no one has actually said the word, GENIUS!
Me (out loud): Ha (choke) ha, yes, you're right. Very good. Does anyone have any questions?
27 hands shoot up in the air.
Me: Great, ask your parents. Get out your math books!
Welcome!
- Mystery Me
- I started writing this blog in 2008, toward the end of my first year of teaching. These posts about my experiences as an NYC Department of Education teacher have been (and continue to be) assembled over a period of several years. They don't necessarily need to be read in chronological order, but my very first post, "Context" (March 2008) might be useful as an introduction into this lunacy. While most of my stories highlight the ridiculousness of being a public school teacher, I should note that I love my students and care deeply for them. So as you read, please keep in mind that I do in fact have a soul, as well as a heart; and that heart of mine brims with pride every time I think about my students' talents and breaks with pain every time another one gets screwed by the system.
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