whisper whisper whisper... hush...papers ruffling...eyes darting back and forth... murmurs...
"Oh, she's scary.." said Deezireh.
"Yea she was pissed!" Peterson's eyes got real wide.
That's what my kids were saying 5 hours later.
At 9:45 in the morning however, the room was dead silent, as a wrathful, visceral, scathing verbal deluge of outrage spewed from deep in my gut to the guilty ears of two of my children.
Paula and Ilieh had been arguing back and forth about who had raised their hand first for approximately 10 minutes. They bickered like an old married couple, unabashedly, obliviously, and uncontrollably, as the class just sat back and watched in horror. The other 25 kids in the class knew exactly what was about to happen, and they were sure as hell gonna stay out of it. They had all just learned the word "fester." They could see it in my eyes, and in the way my hands started to clench real tight on the books I was holding, and in the way my veins started to become more conspicuous on my forehead; they knew something inhuman was festering inside of me, as I watched and waited for Paula and Ilieh to recognize the gross selfishness of their behavior.
Like a clap of thunder so startling that they both jumped out of their seats, I threw my books on the floor as hard as I could, and emitted fury like a pit bull in a dogfight. My teeth were bared, I was angry as hell, and Paula and Ilieh looked like two deer caught in headlights. I'm not sure I actually said anything coherent, it was mostly just animalistic noises. Nevertheless, it had the desired effect. After that, it took me 20 minutes of absolute silence so that I could calm my voice down enough to speak at a measured, moderated, tone.
They've been angels ever since.
Welcome!
- Mystery Me
- I started writing this blog in 2008, toward the end of my first year of teaching. These posts about my experiences as an NYC Department of Education teacher have been (and continue to be) assembled over a period of several years. They don't necessarily need to be read in chronological order, but my very first post, "Context" (March 2008) might be useful as an introduction into this lunacy. While most of my stories highlight the ridiculousness of being a public school teacher, I should note that I love my students and care deeply for them. So as you read, please keep in mind that I do in fact have a soul, as well as a heart; and that heart of mine brims with pride every time I think about my students' talents and breaks with pain every time another one gets screwed by the system.
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