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I started writing this blog in 2008, toward the end of my first year of teaching. These posts about my experiences as an NYC Department of Education teacher have been (and continue to be) assembled over a period of several years. They don't necessarily need to be read in chronological order, but my very first post, "Context" (March 2008) might be useful as an introduction into this lunacy. While most of my stories highlight the ridiculousness of being a public school teacher, I should note that I love my students and care deeply for them. So as you read, please keep in mind that I do in fact have a soul, as well as a heart; and that heart of mine brims with pride every time I think about my students' talents and breaks with pain every time another one gets screwed by the system.

March 11, 2010

A Small Part of Me Dies almost Every Single Day

It's Thursday afternoon, and I have a headache. Report cards were due yesterday, my student teacher wants me to find a student to take care of her caged pet bunnies, and my gym's been unexpectedly closed for the third day in a row. In an hour, I have to go to 'happy'hour with people I don't want to talk to.

What's the real problem here? The real problem is simple: I bust my balls to prepare my kids for the test they must pass in order to move to 6th grade, I stress myself out because I'm thinking of all the things my kids need to know and don't, I can't sleep at night because I'm trying to come up with better lessons to teach; and on a scale of 1-10, their average measurement of motivation and interest in test-prep (my school's been in a state of martial law- test prep from 8:30am - 3:30pm, one multiple choice question after another, after another, after another, after another...its never-ending, really) would be a big fat 0. I certainly don't blame them for it, but it just does not make my task any easier. 

Yesterday afternoon I made an announcement to my class. I told them, "I guarantee you that tomorrow morning, I'll be checking your writing homework. And if you don't have it completed, I guarantee you that I will give you detention during recess to do it." One would think that my kids would be motivated to complete their homework, since I gave them a direct warning of the guaranteed consequences to come. One would assume that maybe only a couple of the more asinine students would neglect to fulfill the task for various reasons. But today, after I had checked every student's writing notebook, exactly HALF of my class had not completed the assignment.

Becky claimed she did 'do' the writing homework. What she really 'did' was she rewrote, word for word, three paragraphs from the story about which they were supposed to write a personal opinion/reflection piece.

Tanaya claimed her Nanna made her erase it all. Yesterday, she claimed her Nanna ripped the pages out. Tomorrow, she'll probably claim her Nanna ate her homework.

Another student later complained of not being able to finish his math homework because he didn't 'get' it. The homework assignment had been to list the factors of certain numbers. We had spent two full weeks on this topic in late September- early October, and then another three days reviewing it earlier this week. Everyone else's in-class work showed me they thought it was easy-peasy. It's odd he couldn't get it- I had noticed him writing uncharacteristically furiously in his math notebook during math class this Tuesday- Oh wait, that's right, he was shading in bubble letters that spelled his name instead of doing the practice problems. Hmmmm Jitobi, I wonder WHY you didn't 'get' it?